I wonder if there has been much online discussion on the subject of boobs in tango. There should be, it is a very obvious one. I can remember many animated conversations about this when I was carpooling to milongas. I have to guess that there are people out there who take up this endeavor alone and may be lacking the insight of these discussions. It is to these persons that I speak to today.
Let me first say that I like breasts but this is not an essay on the gratification I get from them. I believe Playboy magazine has covered that topic quite extensively. I would like to talk about breasts from a practical perspective and how they affect the tango embrace, the leader’s concentration and their role in getting dance invitations.
Please forgive any puns that may occur; they are not intentional.
I will state categorically that it is infinitely easier to establish a tango connection with a woman with large breasts than it is with a woman who has not been so blessed. I know this is not fair but that is the way it is.
Unless there is a great disparity in the heights of the partners, the protruding maguffies usually make contact with the leader’s torso in such a way as to create the perfect communication channel. In such a situation, the leader has no doubt that his message is being received properly.
The well-rounded woman definitely enjoys a distinct advantage over her undernourished competition when it comes to tango. If any readers doubt this claim, try stuffing your shirt with two rolls of toilet paper and see for yourself.
The buxom tanguera does not shy away from contact either. In fact, she seems to enjoy mashing herself into her partner, confident that he is pleased with the company.
In this position, I am absolutely certain which leg is her standing leg. This makes my job a lot easier and compounds the satisfaction I take away from the experience.
Cleavage, however, can be a major distraction that can severely disrupt the seamless execution of maneuvers.
Guys, if you have not learned this by now, let me tell you that you cannot stare into the mammaries’ crevasse and still hear the music. It’s harder than chewing gum, rubbing your stomach, patting your head and walking all at the same time.
I am certain that the girls all know that the un-tethered breast is the great equalizer to size. All a man needs to see is the slightest jiggle beneath the blouse and he’s compelled to make an offer for her join him on the dance floor. It’s not something that can be helped so I ask all the tangueras choosing to keep a lid on their wares to forgive the wandering tanguero for he knows not what he does.
The draw of those unbound beauties is often so strong that I’ve found myself sitting down for a tanda so as not to miss a chance to catch her eye when the cortina plays. A man’s attraction to breasts is a force of nature equal to gravity and electricity.
So don’t be afraid, young padawan tanguero, the next time you are confronted with a magnificent pair of boobs. They are there to be enjoyed and utilized. They are beacons to light your way as well as an undeserved reward. Tango is not always a Herculean task of balance and choreography; it can also be a smooth delight and a veritable walk in the park in the arms of a lovely lady.
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