Climbing the Walls of Tango

                Understanding that people have invisible walls that must be broached before a tango connection can be established is an equation that is just as hard to solve as any mathematical formula.

               As a person who has many walls of his own, I know that the most difficult problem is acknowledging their existence.

               My biggest wall was my fear of arousal. I took it down by convincing myself that tango would never lead to any close encounters of the sexual kind. It was almost like a vow of celibacy.

               Some walls have to be torn down by the occupant behind the wall. Some walls have to be taken down by the intruder.

               I have to imagine that performance anxiety is the most common barrier encountered by partners in this dance. It can be surmounted by letting a person know that he/she can never make a mistake; that you are completely aware that this engagement is an attempt to choreograph movement to a song spontaneously and that turbulence is to be expected.

               It takes two to tango. If you want to dance, it is imperative that you let someone else into your space: physical, mental and emotional. You must leave your expectations for success and your fear of failure behind. In tango, there are no penalties or rewards; there is only the music and the next step.     

                

For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.