Desire and Infatuation: Tango's Vital Ingredients

                I was talking to a tanguera last night and I asked her to evaluate the leaders she had been dancing with lately. We had both attended the same workshop recently and were talking about our efforts to make progress on the concepts taught during the lessons. 

                At one point she complained that the only leader she could work with on these concepts was unskilled even though he had been dancing tango for many years.

                I know this guy. He is infatuated with her. I’ll not name him other than to call him her 'fan'.

                Her complaint was that the skilled leaders with whom she had danced were too critical of her efforts and that she could not concentrate on her objective. It was only with her ‘fan’ that she could make any sort of progress.

                This morning I awoke with the realization that her problem with the more advanced leaders was a quandary often encountered by many tango dancers, both followers and leaders.

                There is more to tango than the mastery of the basic steps: molinete, ochos, etc. A person can dance true tango on his/her very first introduction to it but we fool ourselves into thinking that physical balance is our top priority. 

                When two people come together to attempt a spontaneous choreography to tango music, the only thing that counts is the connection they share. If the ‘secret’ ingredients are present in their union then the technical aspects of dancing are irrelevant.

                The secret ingredients I mention are desire and infatuation. These are volatile catalysts in the chemistry created when two people join together in a dance. Without them, movement to the music is fluid but that fluid is only water. Add just one of these key ingredients and that liquid becomes gasoline!

                Desire must be controlled and infatuation cannot be helped. These are the factors which make tango a dance for the experienced and not for the naïve. 

                If you are a slave to your passions then tango is not a dance for you.

                I know the ‘fan’. He always treats my friend with the utmost respect. When they dance, they are dancing tango. He is in heaven and hell simultaneously: ecstatic­­­­­ to be with the woman he desires and tortured by the code that prevents him from acting on his passion.

This is what tango is all about. It is not a dance for children or the immature. The participants are playing with fire and getting burned is just part of the allure.



For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.