At practica, a tanguera asked me
why a man, if asked to choose between two ladies of equal abilities and appeal, decides on one repeatedly and not the other.
I answered,
too quickly, that the woman who succeeds in convincing him that she enjoyed
their engagement the most was the obvious winner. On the long ride home, I
realized that my statement needed further clarification.
Here in
Wisconsin there are two women who enjoy dancing with me. They are the same age
and skill level but I seek out one and not the other. When we dance, I feel
they are both delighted to the same degree with my offerings.
What
then is the difference between the two?
The only
thing I can discern is that one always seeks to catch my eye and the other does
not. The former makes me feel trapped.
Just as the follower needs to feel free within the embrace, so too does
the leader need to feel in making the invitation.
How
women let men know they are available without imparting the sensation of confinement
is a mystery to me but I must tell you that I like it…a lot!
For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.
For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.
The woman who gets the most repeat invitations is the woman who finds her encounters with her leaders fun. Most women are so caught up in the complications of their own lives that they fail to appreciate the tremendous risk a man has to take to try and make her happy for a brief span of time. Leading is incredibly difficult but it is easy compared to what it takes to be a follower who enchants men with her skills. How wonderfully nice it is to have a lady follow me into a mistake. It is all my fault and there is nothing more rewarding than to have a partner in the journey.
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