Tango Is the Cure

               I believe it is a biological fact that bodily contact between humans has positive and far-reaching therapeutic value. When I dance tango with a woman, especially with a middle-aged lady, I can feel a powerful energy seeping out of her. I think that energy is created by stress and I savor it like a potent elixir.

               It feels good to take someone’s stress as well as to have someone take it from you. This is one of the many reasons why I believe dancing tango is so addictive. When we engage in the tango embrace, our opiate receptors line up along our points of contact, anxiously awaiting a tiny sip of the stress cocktail.

               Humans are communal creatures and the release of stress for one member of the tribe is beneficial to the entire community. People who are relaxed are better prepared to handle the seemingly irrational occurrences caused by their social interactions.

               I think stress is a necessary evil. There is a reason for it but we cannot let it accumulate. We must find an outlet for it or symptoms will erupt that doctors, if allowed, will try to treat with the most expensive healthcare on the planet.

               US citizens have to be very careful when we seek the advice of medical ‘experts’, especially if we have a great healthcare plan.

               American culture, with its emphasis on driving and social media, has lost many of its outlets to relieve stress. Consequently, bodily contact with another person is priced at a premium.

               A masseuse massages our muscles to heal them but the real benefit of the session is derived simply from their hands touching us in a consensual manner.

               Massages are for sissies. Real men go to the strip club for lap dances.

               This is not unusual. Herodotus tells us in his Histories of a Lydian culture where young girls prostitute themselves to build their own dowries. In my country, young unwed mothers prostitute themselves as a form of welfare to provide for their children.

               If you’re too timid to go for either of these remedies, the pharmaceutical companies are ready to assist you with a chemical release as long as you can afford a prescription. If you can’t then your local drug dealer will help you out as long as you’re willing to risk a prison sentence.

               I thank God and the Universe for introducing me to tango. I find all the aforementioned remedies to stress unappealing. I find tango dancing to be an organic outlet for stress. It is a homeopathic remedy for what really ails us.

               I was dancing with a woman last weekend.  She was nervous but I did not let that deter me from enjoying our union. The very fact that I could sense her anxiety made me feel good.

               With each song I could feel her working on putting it all together: sensing my lead, maintaining our connection and embellishing when she could. It was easy to discern the pressure she was putting on herself to perform her role in this dance to her satisfaction.

               She must have high standards because she was an incredibly delightful partner.

               By the end of the night we had shared three tandas together. When we parted for the last time, she said, sounding amazed, “That was fun!”

               There was something about the way she spoke those words, as an honest expression of her emotional state that gave me a good feeling lasting until the middle of the week. I went home, bought an Xbox One and gave up drinking forever. Tango is the only cocktail for me from now on.

For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.