As I was
dancing tango with a young woman at a milonga, I encountered a familiar bump in
the road that many of us trip over on our journey to proficiency. The
couple in front of us abruptly moved backwards and I had to make an immediate
course correction in order to avoid a collision.
I led a molinete to my
left.
It was
here that we stumbled upon the most common mistakes in tango.
Instead
of stepping sideways in a manner that would take her around me, or even
directly to her right, she moved away from me on a tangent that was neither a
back-step nor a side-step.
She was so alluring that I hid my frustration when she departed my orbit. What can I
say? I found her infatuating.
During
the dance, the follower is almost always doing some part of molinete, that merry-go-round pattern which encompasses all the fundamental movements of tango:
back-step, side-step, front-step and pivot.
It can
begin from any one of the aforementioned steps. The progression of a molinete
is always the same. If she starts on the back-step she proceeds to the side-step,
then the front-step and then another side-step. The molinete must always be
performed in reference to the leader who is in the middle of the circle she is
navigating. All her steps must carry her around him as he pivots in the center.
If her
first movement into the molinete takes her away from the leader, he will have to change
course by moving towards her and find another way to continue dancing without
barging into the couple in front of them.
As my
intoxicating companion moved away from me, I closed the gap and led her into a
series of rock steps that kept us out of traffic. It was at this point
that I noticed there was chemistry between us. If I was not careful, I could
easily become infatuated by her.
Men and
women can never be just friends. Almost every woman with which a man dances becomes
a sexual puzzle that his libido tries to solve. Therefore, some degree of
infatuation is possible with almost every partner he embraces.
The
problem with infatuation is that it causes a man’s brain to idle. It puts him
into a hypnotic state that stifles his ability to indicate movement, rhythm and
direction.
So there
I was, dancing with this beautiful young lady. I saw the obstacle and merely
stepped over it because I am not the naïve puppy I was when I began my tango quest. I am in control….most of the time, but not always. I am, after all,
just a man and sometimes I find it invigorating to let the little boy in me be
free.
It would
be unfortunate if she never learns that the side-step initiating her molinete
is taken at an inappropriate angle. It’s not my responsibility to point this out.
That is a job for her instructor.
So it is
for the man who never learns to harness his passion. It cannot be allowed to
run wild or else he will not be able to dance. Yet he must not be a stone
because rocks are not very appealing. This is the paradox that every leader
must confront.
In tango
there are three types of people: the observers, the travelers and those who are
stuck on the round-about waiting for chance or inspiration to get them back on
the road again and moving forward.
For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.
Had you lead the molinette by stepping back, with a good embrace and connection, she should not have been able to step sideways. You could have also pivoted left so her side step would have been appropriate and still avoided to couple in front of you (and I seldom dance within a stride of the leader ahead).
ReplyDeleteYou state "During the dance, the follower is almost always doing some part of molinete," That's like saying we're all running a marathon because we take forward steps, the molinette is a collection of complete segments - the whole is made of parts but the parts are not necessarily part of a particular collection. When someone tells me, "I was told to do half an Ocho, what's that called?", I reply "a step and a pivot".
You are also missing out on a great part of life if you believe."Men and women can never be just friends". Some of my dearest and longest lasting friends are women and some I love dearly, some are married, some are not, some I see often, some are half way around the world but we care about and for each other unconditionally.
It is connection. Critical to life. Critical to all dance and never more so than Tango.
John, thank you for your input. I'd like to address your first point on leading molinette to the side.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is possible, when leading a side-step in the molinette, to get the tanguera to step sideways by stepping back a little. I can also give her more direction with my left hand as well. If I have to lead her into every movement then I am more of a puppeteer and less of a man dancing tango. That is how I feel and I can see how others might disagree with my position, after all, I am just a man with a blog, not an expert or even an instructor. I believe it is important for the tanguera to take responsibility for completing the molinete with little direction for her leaders may not always be so skilled as you are.
I'd also like to address the point about men and women never being friends. Being able to steal yourself from your passions, even the sexual dynamic between a man and a woman, is a big part a dancer's tango education. To deny that the attraction is not there is a lie to yourself and to your partner. There must be total honesty in the connection and the dancers are exposed for what they are: human beings. To act on that chemistry would, in many cases, be considered an extreme insult.
When you rely on connection instead of puppeteering, it will be easier.
ReplyDeleteWhen you understand that friendship / relationship are related to, but a distinctly separate element, sexuality you'll find all four combinations are possible.
Right, I don't want to be the puppeteer. To connect fully, completely, my partner must not distract me which means her molinete must be performed well. When I dance tango, I am not looking for friendship nor am I looking for sex. Not every dance I have at a milonga is a tango: some are social engagements, some are training exercises for beginners and very few are real tangos but that is what I desire. I think this is where we disagree, on which dances are real tangos. I agree that tango is all about connection and I think that to deny your passion, to deny your humanity, is a lie to yourself, your partner and to the music that ultimately interferes with the tango embrace. Tango transcends time and space. A woman you know platonically in this lifetime may be a sexual conquest in another.
ReplyDelete