Women Tango Arousal and Men: All Natural

               My readership has been declining lately so I’m going to fall back on a well-worn topic to increase circulation.  I'd like to talk about arousal and the game some women play with men when dancing the tango.  

               The ability to attract a man is a symbol of power for a woman. An erection is a good indicator that a man has been affected.

               Every so often I dance with a woman who does a pretty good job of appealing to my libido. A compliment or an invitation to dinner will do but sometimes I think she’d rather have some other kind of evidence.

               It took me a long time to realize that my arousal was the end of the game, not the beginning. The road to this epiphany was filled with frustration and self-doubt. I now suspect that the opposite sex may not even be aware of their role as the instigators in this adventure.

               Ladies, in case you don’t already know, a woman’s appropriate reaction to a turgid appendage should be a blush and avoidance. You may be tempted to ‘knock a few coconuts loose from the tree’ but you must resist or you’re going to have a lot more than coconuts laying on the ground!

               It used to bother me when women played this game but now I suspect that this is not something they can help. 

               For a man, being aroused in public is embarrassing in the very least and illegal at worst. A lot of mental and emotional effort goes into managing our sex drive. Men are not normally thoughtful nor do we like to employ emotional restraint. We are in fact big babies.

               You must understand this in order to comprehend why anger is the flip side of arousal. We work hard to keep our thing under control. When an overly sensuous woman comes along and throws all our efforts out the window, we become upset……or fall in love with her. This is enough to drive a man crazy!

               Here is my observation of how this game is played out on the dance floor at a milonga:

-                                        Each woman has her own tricks to get manwood to grow: exhaling at just the right time so that her breath rushes onto his neck/ear/face; releasing an audible gasp, whimper or squeal; eye contact; body contact, etc., etc. 

-                                       It is possible that some stimuli are carried out innocently enough but others are definitely crimes of passion.

-                                       The unwitting/devious tanguera keeps her partner going all through the tanda, bringing the hapless tanguero to the edge of ecstasy and dropping him off a cliff like seagulls breaking clams on a rocky beach.

-                                        Her trophy comes at the end of the tanda, his condition apparent. She always walks straight away from her victim, never to the side and never looking back to let on that she may know.

-                                      She feigns naïveté but her posture says otherwise, like she's proud of what she's done; her smitten partner is veritable proof of her potency for all to see.

               This is a part of tango that is never taught in group classes. I have to guess that it is something that is discussed between women in private or during private instruction.

               Guys, if it helps, try to think of the experience as tantric sex: all foreplay and no climax.  

               There may be more to this game than women proving to themselves that men still find them desirable. These flirtations may help them overcome obstacles they encounter when learning how to follow.  

               It is possible that flirtation is the key to opening the door for a woman to understand the men with whom she dances. Her efforts give her confidence and help her to make sense of the awkward, yet somehow appealing creature within her embrace.

               Guys, this dance is all about the woman, the most sensitive and sophisticated machine ever devised. She needs to be comfortable in order to feel free to move as the music inspires her and in harmony with you.

               I don’t just write to drive up subscriptions; I write to let other men know how to act in such situations and to assure them that this doesn’t have to be an embarrassing moment.

               Suck it up and walk back to your chair, big guy. So she got you aroused and left you standing there; admit to yourself that, at this very moment, you are totally intoxicated with her and that this is a good thing.

               So don’t be insulted when she leaves you high and dry. It’s all part of what makes tango tango. Take her actions for what they truly are: a compliment.

For more of the Kayak Hombre, read my book Fear of Intimacy and the Tango Cure or River Tango. Available on Amazon.com in paperback or Kindle.