The end of a song is a critical moment in the lives tango dancers. Just how important is difficult for leaders to understand. It is
here that we are graded. This is the point in time where the woman decides to save
what happened as a memory or to forget it entirely. It is
here that the differences between men and women are most profound.
Men
tally their performance by rating how well each set of maneuvers was carried
out throughout the dance. They might score themselves on musicality or balance
or choreography. Each man has his own set of criteria with which to measure his
feat.
I think a
woman rates her experience by how she feels. Her emotional state at the moment she loses contact with her partner is when her body will decide whether or
not to create a mental record of the encounter and if it was pleasant or
unpleasant.
For
years I was under the impression that the end of the tanda was the moment when
the music stopped playing. At this time I would abruptly disconnect from my
partner and look into her face for some sign of approval. I was often
disappointed by what I saw.
The
reason for my poor performance lay in my attitude towards women. I believed it
was disrespectful to touch them beyond the sound of the melody. I think many ladies found the suddenness of my release to be an
emotional downer.
Lately I
have been experimenting with how I disengage from my partner at the end of a song with very favorable results.
There is
a point somewhere after the two second marker where the woman’s body seems to
say, “I am ready to let go.”
It is as
if I can see the vibrations of the sound of the song disappearing into the
walls when I feel her body lift and prepare for departure. At this time I
release her from my grasp.
This
brief, music-free embrace can seem like an eternity…if you are lucky. Enjoy it.
I think she will too.
For more stuff from the Kayak Hombre, check out my books on Amazon:
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